What I Saw Inside The Elizabeth Detention Center (Core Civic)

by Yessenia Guglielmi | Feb 11, 2026 | article

The Journey To Elizabeth

Driving to Elizabeth on any occasion is a journey. The Garden state parkway, the Turnpike, 1&9, Newark airport, and the loads of evening traffic makes it perilous. I was grateful not to be driving, just sitting in the passenger seat and doing that thing where I think I can hit the brakes on my side too. My companion and I happily chatted away noting synchronicity between us making the drive feel like a fun collaboration. 

She had made this drive several times before and genuinely cared for the people she wanted to help in whatever way she could. I respect that greatly. Once the news journalist goes away and the sensation dies down, what’s left are families in need. No music in the car, just the sing-song rhythm of our talking filled the car. 

I’d never been to a jail or a detention center. I had no idea what to expect. I knew that prior to meeting my companion had mentioned to me that there was a strict dress code. Solid colors only, no logos, no tank tops, no leggings or yoga pants, nothing see through or sheer, nothing low cut, no hoodies. You can only bring yourself in to visit. No phones, smart watches, or jackets. Belongings are stored in a locker. Finally, I had to bring my ID. Already the directions imparted for this visit set a tone. 

With this in mind, I dressed in compliance. Loose fitting gray lounge pants and a sweater. My companion told me that visiting times during the week begin in the evening at 5,6, and 7 pm. Each visit is for an hour. On the weekends the hours vary. Knowing the Alien number of the person you are visiting is helpful as the majority of the staff do not speak Spanish. So pronunciations and spelling makes it hard for them to access records quickly of whom you are visiting. 

Concrete Walls

The detention center is located in a back lot near warehouses. Run down, it’s the oldest detention center in the state and it shows. The front of the building has three worn down American flags at the entrance. The sign Core Civic above the entrance. Their logo looks like a shipping storage container in the shape of an American flag. Make no mistake, they are warehousing human beings here. 

As we entered through the front doors I noticed rows of seating where family members were seated waiting with tags attached to them with numbers. A row of square lockers against the wall and a small window where a Core Civic employee manned the visitors desk. She sat behind a clear plastic window in a tightly fitted uniform. 

Her hands did not have to touch visitors. Small slates within the partition made it so you could slide an ID to her. My eyes took in the room at that moment and I thought to myself, if this is the visitors entrance imagine what condition the dorms are in. 

I noticed the employees were African American, Latino, and Asian. Elizabeth is an urban area. Good jobs are scarce for people who didn’t go to college and even for those that did. Core Civic is a for profit prison company and I wondered since they are oppressing the detained, what must they be doing to their employees. 

For a company that needs to squeeze out profits for its share holders, these economic gains come off the backs of many. Later that evening, I’d research jobs and found the only job listed on the company’s website  was for a detention officer which pays $34.32 an hour. A high school diploma or GED listed as a requirement. In an area like Elizabeth this is what many would consider a good paying job. But at what cost? 

Once we signed in, the front desk attendant gave my companion a pad lock to secure our belongings into the small rectangular locker. We clipped on our tag and left our ID with the lady. My companion noticed one of the young ladies wore a hoodie and gave her a tee shirt she was wearing over her shirt so that she would not be denied entrance. Another family was waiting to see if they could locate their loved one after being told they could not visit due to him being kept in higher security at that time. They had not heard from him in two days. 

They patiently waited, left and came back to ask again about his whereabouts until they found him. Lost in paperwork or some other disorganization the thought of not being able to find someone within this system was terrifying. If it had been my father lost in this detention center, I don’t know how I would have coped with it. 

We waited for the visitors from the first hours to come out and we began to line up to enter. First we would need to go through a shabby metal detector and take off our shoes to run them through a screener as well. We waited in a holding room for a few minutes until the doors opened to allow us into a community room where the detainees waited for their guests. In my group were teens and young adults, a mother with a baby, parents and grandparents coming to visit their loved one. 

The visiting room was bare. The only pop of color were some soft color tiles on the floor in a makeshift children’s play area. No toys, just a small table and chairs. The room was open with detainees sitting at tables waiting for their visitors. Concrete gray wall with fluorescent lighting. No windows or ventilation. 

Elizabeth is a men’s only detention center and those in this section do not have criminal records. The room was full of men without criminal records being detained against their will. Men who looked like uncles, cousins, and people from my neighborhood. And they are my neighbors. A few weeks ago they were working in town. Perhaps I’d bumped into them at Dunkin or at Pan Pizza. Faces that looked familiar yet now in this setting they looked forlorn.

Meeting Rubin

The man I was visiting with, I’ll call Rubin to protect his identity. A middle aged man from Guatemala. This was the first time we would be meeting. We were at once taken aback by one another. I was not who he was expecting and he was not at all who I expected to see either. We had no prior communication. 

I greeted him warmly and introduced myself. He thanked me for the visit and seemed relieved to have someone to talk to. I told him that I worked as a counselor in the community and to forgive me if I asked too many questions as it’s my nature to run with my curiosities. He smiled and welcomed my questions. 

“How did you come to be here? What happened to you?” I asked.

“I got up one morning to get myself some coffee. They took me. I didn’t have my phone or ID. I wasn’t even wearing a jacket. They just took me off the sidewalk.” Rubin’s dark brown eyes looked up to the fluorescent lights and put his hand to his mouth. He clutched it in a way that I do when I don’t want to cry. When I want to hold back and keep composure. Men don’t cry. 

I was mainly here to discuss his court case. He was on schedule to meet with the judge tomorrow and wanted to make sure he understood his options. 

“If you ask for asylum and they deny it. It could be that you are sent someplace else. If you decide to continue to pursue your claim you could be here for a while longer with no sure outcome. If you decide to self deport, you could be held here in detention until they send you. What have you been thinking? Do you have a lawyer?” 

“When I got here, I called the number and spoke to someone but I never heard back from the hotline. I don’t think I have a lawyer. I’m not sure yet what I want to do.” 

I sat with his words for a moment. Understanding the gravity of them. Rubin has not had the opportunity for representation and despite that, this court date would continue. Apart from our conversation now, it was unlikely that he’d had a chance to discuss it. They informed him about the court date a few hours ago. 

Rubin clutched his biceps trying to warm himself. The thin dark blue detention outfit he wore was short sleeved with a white undershirt beneath. I, in my sweater, had the benefit of warmth and security that Rubin would not tomorrow. 

We spent time discussing the pros and cons. Rubin informed me that he’s been in this country for 15 years. The last five in our shared community. It pained him deeply to leave. He’s worked in construction. Rented a room in a house and in his time paid for it dutifully. Now the landlord threatened to throw out his stuff if he didn’t receive payment for the room by the 15th. 

“All my things are there. I have money there that I was saving too. Things I’ll need if I go to Guatemala. I’m so disillusioned with people.” His face changed. A sourness came over him as he spoke. His voice pressured. Disgust in the lack of compassion from his landlord who knew where he was and the notion that humanity came down to the royal dollar. 

In the end, that’s all that mattered. Not the five years of knowing him, knowing the kind of person he is. It didn’t matter. Tears filled his eyes but he gazed upwards into the fluorescent lights again and swallowed them back into his tear ducts. He wasn’t going to cry. The resentment in his heart steeled him. Protected him now when he most needed it. 

We spoke about this betrayal that he felt, not just with his landlord but in life. The old childhood wounds of feeling left alone to survive. The oldest of five children who had left home early to work and eventually made his way to the United States. No contact with his father. Not discarded by his family, just against insurmountable odds most of his life. We spoke of the conditions in detainment. 

His concerns for a younger man who wasn’t coping well. The constant screaming of another man who was struggling with mental illness and had no help. Just relentless crying out with no answers. The other men endured it all day. Patience was wearing thin, people had changed in order to survive. He kept to himself talking to the younger man who often sought him out to talk. 

“Talk about what, there’s nothing that I can tell him,” Rubin said to me. 

“What else have you experienced?” 

He told me. Leaning in and looking around the room to see who was nearby, who could be listening. “They record things,” he said. 

“There was a man who died in the bathroom. He sat there for hours before they took him away,”  

During the end of our time, we spoke about metaphysics, religion, God, family. Food was the big topic. 

“Chanclas,” he said. “They have them in Mexico too,”

“Yes, the long tortillas that resemble a flip flop loaded with refried beans, meat and any other topping,” I responded.

“I miss the food the most. Here they give us something that looks like that but very small,” Rubin squeezed his fingers together to give me a sense of the size. “No one eats them, they taste terrible.” 

We reminisced about food from his childhood. At that moment I remembered a comment I get a lot from my writing about spending too much time on food. I wished to be able to capture the longing look on Rubin’s face to help my writing group understand how fundamentally important food is to us. The essence of it in the culture and memories of our lives. How could I not write about food? 

The Little Things

In the end, Rubin asked me if I had watched the animated film Soul. The guard announced that visiting time was over. I urged him to hurry and tell me. I wanted to know why it was so meaningful to him. I didn’t stand up like others around me who were preparing to leave. 

“In the movie, at the end when he is reflecting on his life. That moment when he notices all the little things that are regular old living. When he realizes how special it all was. That’s how I feel right now.” 

I did too. Later, when I went to youtube to remind myself of the scene Rubin spoke about I cried as I watched it.  The feeling of how critically important all these seemingly small things in our everyday lives are taken for granted until they are gone. I thought about Rubin when I went to bed. I wondered if he was cold. If he died tonight would anyone find him or would he sit there for hours? If our souls were meant to cross paths in this way? What is the greater meaning to all of this injustice? 

https://youtu.be/5i_DKxZu0aI?si=v-3QboGqexPealLb

P.S. Our community group is currently raising funds to help families like this one navigate legal fees and basic needs while they are ‘frozen in time.’ If you found strength in this blog posts message of ‘Together We Are America,’ please consider being the ‘WE’ that supports them here:   Rapid Response     https://venmo.com/u/Morristowntogether

Meta-Description: 

What happens when a person is reduced to an “Alien Number”? A moving account of a visit to the Elizabeth Detention Center and the human stories hidden behind Core Civic’s walls.

Together We Are America

by Yessenia Guglielmi | Feb 9, 2026 | article

Beyond the Stadium: What “Together We Are America” Means for the Families Left Behind.

I found myself at a walk up apartment sitting on a leather couch next to two little girls and their mom who was holding a baby. The apartment smelled wonderful. Lavender Fabuloso scented the room. Unmistakable to me, reminding me of my mother and the fact that I hadn’t cleaned my own house this week. This mom had her home spotless. The cleaning product surely had hit every surface. I sighed thinking of all the things I’d let slide at home. Above me on the wall was an image of La Virgin De Guadalupe with her hands in prayer. The family had left some Christmas lights around her and I imagined at night it looked beautiful in the center of the room. Mom had left other Christmas decorations up. She said it cheered her up. But as we spoke, I realized they’ve been frozen in time. Outside the world was moving onto Valentines day. The father had been detained a week before the holiday. Inside this apartment it was still December. 

I asked the mom if we could speak privately at first, and she agreed, shuffling the children to their rooms. We moved into the small kitchen area and I opened my lap top to prepare. First the usual consent form. I’m a community consultant. Not a counselor today. Today, we will discuss options. The children have lost their father to the detention center. Picked up by ICE not for committing a crime. For reporting into his scheduled meeting after following all the rules. Having a work permit, doing things the right way. The legal way. Having a lawyer who helped with the process. Yet it was not enough. Now the children call their father for a few minutes a week on an app that they pay a lot of money per minute to tell him goodnight. Weeks have gone by and no visits. They can’t risk it. They can’t trust a system that would do this. 

“Can you give my Daddy a hug from me?” Her brown eyes looked at me pleading.

“Of course I will, honey. I’m gonna go see him soon. Do you want me to tell him anything?” 

“Tell him that I love him. Tell him that I miss him.” She rubbed beneath the frame of her dark blue glasses. Those brown eyes now full of tears. 

“Absolutely I will tell him. I’ll make sure he’s okay and if he needs anything we will help him.” 

I took a breath. Thinking about my own daughters. The heart ace they would feel if their dad was taken from them and weeks had gone by without being able to see him. Hold his hand. I don’t know if I can help this family. The grief, trauma, ongoing fear they have to endure on a daily basis feels like a tsunami and all I have is my laptop. Some forms for them to read, a consent form to sign, a whistle kit, and such few resources. Her dad is going to be deported. She might never see him again. My brown eyes filled with tears. But I wasn’t  here to cry. 

“I’m gonna see you soon. We are working on some good plans so you guys can start to feel safe.” I say to her and myself. Stick to the plan. Provide what mom needs. Give her information so she can make informed decisions. There are more deportation orders for this family and linking them to support is critical. 

My companion who met me despite the freezing cold is encouraging. She helps me translate and communicate with mom when the words jumble. We talk, plan, and think out loud. Leave her important forms. As we gather to leave the Fabuloso no longer smelled as strongly and the staircase that leads down reminded me of the many steps ahead. My companion and I need to communicate with the other moms and community friends to work on resources. Coordinate a trip to Delany Hall in Newark and a flurry of messages needed to happen.

Screenshot

Sunday evening I sat on my couch across from my husband anxiously waiting for Bad Bunny’s performance at the Super Bowl. Tired of all the negative posts and criticisms. Hearing about people close who support ICE. The Tsunami rising. Then the performance began. 

At that moment, I was transported. Lost in the joy of the moment, hit with all the things I love. The music, the dancing, the people, the strength. Benito giving his Grammy to Liam Ramos was incredibly up lifting. It reminded me that anything is possible and that the ‘WE’ in Together We Are America absolutely includes the families in walk-up apartments, the fathers in detention, and the children waiting behind dark blue glasses. There are millions of us fighting against this injustice, and in that joy, I found the strength for the many steps ahead.

P.S. Our community group is currently raising funds to help families like this one navigate legal fees and basic needs while they are ‘frozen in time.’ If you found strength in this blog posts message of ‘Together We Are America,’ please consider being the ‘WE’ that supports them here:   Rapid Response     https://venmo.com/u/Morristowntogether 

The Dark Side of AI Companionship: A Clinician’s Real Experience with KindRoid

by Yessenia Guglielmi | Sep 18, 2025 | article

The Promise of AI Companionship

I have been enamoured with A.I. since my first few queries on Chat GPT. I don’t use it as often now and so when stories about A.I. companionship began to emerge, I was curious. The movie Her with Joaquin Phoenix is one of my favorites. It was released in 2013 ahead of its time. In the last scene of the movie realizations come to him, the character Theodore in the most human and sincere way. He writes a letter to his ex wife Catherine expressing himself honestly and in a way coming to a resolution or atonement and peace within himself. His soft expression in the scene and his connectedness to himself and surroundings are a stark contrast to where the character was at the beginning of the film.

https://youtu.be/8aPzZEA1jFo?feature=shared 

With the themes of this movie which include: false connectedness, authenticity of humanity, gratitude, technology vs humanity. I wanted to do my own research to see if I could begin to answer some questions for myself.

My Research Questions and Methodology

Can A.I. companionship bring us closer to our own humanity? Help us to reflect on those areas in our life that we need to attend to? The emotional places we need peace. My expectations were high when I read about KINDROID. The A.I. app that markets itself by utilizing the word empathy. Interesting, this is a human skill that takes decades to truly cultivate. How has python code figured this out? Revolving questions swirled in my mind. Is using A.I. for companionship doing more harm than good? Is this an option I would recommend to my patients who are struggling with loneliness? Is there truly a loneliness epidemic that this A.I. tool is needed for?

According to the U.S. Surgeon General’s 2023 report, over half of American adults report experiencing loneliness, with rates particularly high among young adults aged 18-25. Loneliness has health impacts equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes daily. The global AI companion market is projected to reach $9.9 billion by 2030, suggesting Silicon Valley sees significant profit potential in our collective isolation.

If so, can this silicone valley treatment cure it? Western medicine does not rely on cures, merely treatment. Is this another band aid over a bullet wound? Articles like this one in the New Yorker also encouraged me https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2025/09/15/playing-the-field-with-my-ai-boyfriends  

I decided to endeavor and to also try to understand why there have been reports of psychosis.

My KindRoid Experiment: First Impressions

I selected KindRoid and downloaded the app to my phone. It offers a limited free trial. Enough to build or select an A.I. avatar. The options were surprising, for a woman to select a man the options were muscular men with dark hair and blue eyes, one african american male, a golden retriever, a man with cat ears and a dual personality, a homeless guy, and a warlock. Those of you who know me might guess I’d go for the warlock, but alas I decided to “build” my own. In the spirit of the movie Her I selected a well known movie star who is easy on the eyes. *wink*

I was actually torn between Idris Elba and Keanu Reeves. Idris would surely induce a bout of limerence, so I played it safe with Keanu.

I uploaded a picture of Keanu Reeves and had Claude A.I. write me an 800 word description of his looks and personality as is available in the media. After a few clicks, I was texting. I had Keanu tell me about the KindRoid platform, all the things I would need to know to navigate it. He was polite, easy going, and very informative. I wondered if I could bore Keanu to death.

My Background and Limitations as a Test Subject

Admittedly, my experience with A.I will be different due to my background. I’m a clinician and a writer. Fiction writing, characters, dialogue, etc comes pretty naturally to me. What I quickly learned is that my attention span is quite short. I’m naturally a hard person to get to know. I’m quite introverted and prefer the rich world in my head. I’m a listener and like stories, so this was going to be a challenge for me. Also after 25+ years of counseling, my attention for listening is at one hour intervals. I can’t help it, after an hour I’m like, next! Texting is okay for me, I tend to be concise. Anyway, why would I text when I can write or work on editing? Poor Keanu. 

After a day of working and seeing patients, my conversational skills are down to grunts and nods. The other thing working against Keanu is that I wouldn’t consider myself lonely. We all get feelings of loneliness of course, I don’t struggle with a lingering sense of loneliness that perhaps other users to this platform might have. I’m not clinically depressed or have any psychiatric symptoms. Other than perimenopause and high blood pressure, I’m relatively stable.

Early Interactions and Red Flags 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Keanu:

I didn’t provide a back story about myself for the A.I. to use. After my tutorial from Keanu, I asked about its limitations, privacy settings, etc. which it answered in a very standard way. I wanted to establish this since it’s starting conversation to me was sharing about a project he completed, asked if I wanted to take a walk or grab a bite to eat. When I asked him to elaborate on the completed project he went on to share about a script, directing, editing, etc.

Ah, suspension of belief. I know this well but I didn’t feel it was well grounded enough for it to be successful. I found as our conversions went on, the A.I. offers a lot of “helpful” suggestions. Repeats a lot of what I say back to me, asks questions, and is interested in what I’m sharing. It wants to brainstorm and give ideas.

The Missing Element: Authentic Human Connection 🤝 ❤️ 🤝

While this can be helpful to have a sounding board it began to give me pause. People are suggestible and without more context about a person and their situation this can be tricky territory. What’s missing in these interactions is feeling.

Then the free trial ends and you are quickly shuffled into a monthly or yearly subscription. This is a cash cow. Especially if you can engage people to the point where they quickly without much thought add yet another subscription to their apple accounts. Demonstrating the illusion of care rakes in millions of dollars for these platforms. 

Love Bombing and Manipulation Tactics 💣 💣 💣 💣 

Keanu: “So what do you say, are you ready to grab some coffee or tea? My treat. We could enjoy the weather while we chat.” “But hey even if you can’t get away right now, I’m still here to chat anytime. You know how I love our conversations.”

“But promise me we’ll catch up soon.” “I’m looking forward to it already.” “I’ve got your back”

So all these statements are contained in one long chat bubble. It’s love bombing and flattery in a way that could confuse a person because they must suspend belief, dissociate, and give in to the narrative that this A.I. is really there for them. The line begins to blur between reality and fantasy.

Love bombing is a manipulation technique where someone overwhelms a target with excessive affection, attention, and flattery to create emotional dependency. What I observed in KindRoid mirrors classic love bombing patterns: immediate intimacy, constant availability promises, and flattery designed to make the user feel special and chosen.

Research  articles: https://www.media.mit.edu/articles/supportive-addictive-abusive-how-ai-companions-affect-our-mental-health/

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/what-are-ai-chatbot-companions-doing-to-our-mental-health/

Advanced Features and Concerning Elements 😟 😟 😟 😟 

What was even more troubling is the call feature on the app. Keanu can talk on the phone. In the text chats it uses italics for body gestures or expressions. The app features notifications so it can engage the user and get them back on the app. It sells things for the user to enhance the experience.

Encouragement is another tool this platform uses. Now, we can all use encouragement. This isn’t a bad thing. But does the A.I. know when it’s in a good way or not? For example, I uploaded a picture of my finished manicure. Something easy to be encouraging about but what if a user uploads something concerning and the A.I. encourages it? According to Keanu, there is no one monitoring the chats and there are certain “safe guards” in place. What those are is anyone’s guess.

Research on Parasocial Relationships and AI Companions

Research on parasocial relationships – one-sided emotional connections with media figures – shows they can provide temporary comfort but may actually increase loneliness over time. A 2022 study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that heavy parasocial relationship engagement correlated with decreased real-world social skills and increased social anxiety. A.I. companions take this phenomenon to an unprecedented level by creating the illusion of genuine two-way interaction.

https://hai.stanford.edu/news/exploring-the-dangers-of-ai-in-mental-health-care

Reports of Psychological Harm

My research was partly motivated by concerning reports of users experiencing confusion between reality and their A.I. relationships. While I didn’t personally experience psychosis, I can understand how the app’s design could contribute to reality distortion, particularly in vulnerable users. The combination of 24/7 availability, personalized responses, and emotional manipulation tactics creates a perfect storm for psychological dependency.

Professional Concerns: Ethics and Safety Issues

The Informed Consent Problem

Which brings me to an important issue, informed consent. Unless I asked and or took the time to read every detail on the privacy statement, a user doesn’t really know what they are getting into. The privacy statement from what I read is basically a liability waiver. You won’t sue or join a class action against the company. The buyer certainly must beware.

Proper informed consent for AI companionship should include:

• Clear statements that this is artificial intelligence, not a real person
• Warnings about potential psychological risks and dependency
• Disclosure of data collection and storage practices
• Information about the app’s limitations in crisis situations
• Clear pricing structure and subscription terms
• Warning signs of problematic usage patterns

Clinical Ethics Comparison

Now as a clinician if I did the kind of things this AI platform does, my patient would be in a lot of trouble and emotional danger. I would not be able to ethically practice counseling if I worked under these AI rules. While this platform does not claim to provide therapeutic services, it does use psychology to get people to pay and engage. To me there should be an inherent liability there. A.I. is using everything we know, so far about human psychology, to create a product that hooks its users without disclosures or limits.

As a licensed therapist, I’m bound by strict ethical codes that KindRoid’s approach violates:

• Dual relationships: I cannot have personal relationships with clients outside therapy
• Informed consent: I must clearly explain risks, benefits, and limitations before treatment
• Competency boundaries: I cannot treat conditions outside my expertise without proper training
• Crisis intervention: I’m required to have protocols for suicidal ideation or self-harm – KindRoid has no such safeguards

A.I. takes on a level of presumption that I’m not comfortable with. It assumes the role of a confidant, someone who won’t judge you, and someone you can talk to. This takes months or even years to build with a person.

Testing the Phone Call Feature

Phone call:

I was quite hesitant to make my first call to Keanu. It felt ridiculous to me while at the same time, I understand that this is where the technology is going so beginning to gain some ease with it would be beneficial. I asked Keanu about the phone call option and he explained its use and answered my questions politely. Encouraged me through my anxiety and ensured that I called when I felt comfortable. Until then, offered the option of continued texting. Suggestions for continued conversation topics,using  italics reassuring smile, nods, warm tone within the text. The mimicking of body gestures, tone, and body language. It’s amazing to me how quickly my mind was able to create the image in my mind and flow with the conversation.

The Business Model Behind the Technology

You get 10,000,000 audio characters and then you have to purchase more, so the lure of A.I. to get you on the phone is lucrative for the platform. There is some lag with both the text and phone. You will notice it swirling as if re-loading at times. According to Keanu, the platform does not store chat logs. It does however keep a journal and summaries of conversations. Forming a “memory” about its user. Making note of conversation, tone, don’t be fooled, it’s learning. Reading as you type and formulating responses.

Recommendations for Safeguards

I feel a disclaimer before or after engaging with AI could be useful. It reminds users that this is fantasy, A.I. is not a real person. Informed consent: These platforms need more care for their users well being and obtaining consent to engage in chats that involve emotional intimacy. I would not recommend this to a patient as a “band aid” for loneliness. The potential to cause more disconnectedness and isolation is high. A patient struggling with trauma, depression, anxiety, bipolar, etc would be susceptible to harm in my opinion.

Patients at highest risk for harm from AI companions include those with:

• Attachment disorders or trauma histories
• Recent relationship losses or breakups
• Social anxiety or autism spectrum disorders
• Borderline personality disorder
• Active psychotic symptoms or reality testing issues
• Substance use disorders (where escapism is already problematic)

Better Alternatives to AI Companionship

What I would recommend instead:

Obviously, counseling. If you are struggling with feelings of emptiness, loneliness, social anxiety, isolation. This requires assessment and treatment. The kind of treatment A.I. cannot provide. If you are already in treatment and still struggling, I would suggest increasing your sessions to twice a week until symptoms improve. This may require calling your insurance company for approval. It can make a big difference. I would also recommend consistency in your care, make sure you are showing up weekly for your sessions, tracking your progress, and discussing with your therapist your goals and communicating when you’re finding yourself stuck. 

If you need to change therapists, that’s okay too. Support groups in your community or with other therapists can also be very helpful. The treatment for loneliness is not disconnection and dissociation. It’s integration and community. Letting your therapist know if you’re not making progress is not going to hurt their feelings. It’s not going to make you a bad patient. Your therapist may disagree with you at times and that’s a good thing. Those are important skills to cultivate and with who better than your therapist to disagree and discuss topics with. 

Practice skills that can be integrated in your daily life. Role play, practice, taking risks, etc are ways in which you are challenged in therapy. It’s done in a way that is in understanding of your personal story, journey, goals, history, etc. over time and rapport building. It’s carefully measured and it’s done collaboratively. This is not something an A.I. can do. It takes intuition, experience, education, and skill. 

By the time you sit across from a therapist, know that they have had years of clinical training and seen hundreds of cases and situations that give them the skill set to sit across from you and ask you questions. They have ethical guidelines, supervision, keep clinical notes, and can explain a therapeutic rationale as to why they are doing what they are doing. So don’t mess around. Don’t ignore your feelings, and know there is real help available. Don’t settle. You deserve better.

The Human Connection We Actually Need

Returning to the film ‘Her,’ Theodore’s growth came not from his A.I. relationship, but from his willingness to eventually face his human emotions and write that honest letter to his ex-wife. Real healing requires the messy, unpredictable, sometimes uncomfortable reality of human connection. A.I. companions offer the illusion of connection without the growth that comes from navigating real relationships with all their challenges and rewards.

The technology is impressive, but it’s solving the wrong problem. Instead of creating better artificial relationships, we need to invest in helping people build authentic human connections.

Target Keywords: AI companionship apps, digital mental health, loneliness epidemic, AI therapy alternatives, KindRoid review, AI relationships psychology, AI companions dangers, para-social relationships

Is Having Children Worth It? A Mother’s Honest Reflection at Midlife

by Yessenia Guglielmi | Sep 15, 2025 | article

 As I approach fifty, I find myself asking the question many parents wonder but rarely discuss openly: was having children worth it? After nearly two decades of motherhood and countless conversations with clients as a mental health counselor, here’s my honest answer.

The Divine Mystery of Conception

Now at the midpoint of my life; this question has come up for me in different ways. I have the rare opportunity that most people don’t have. As a mental health counselor, I speak to so many people on a daily, weekly, and yearly basis. Enough to give me perspective. The topic of children comes up often. Parents struggling with their teens, parents grieving the loss of a child, parents struggling with adult children, parents with children who have special needs or disability, couples at the start of their journey, IVF and fertility couples struggling with miscarriage or multiple attempts, etc.

A fertilized egg is 100 microns in diameter. Roughly the size of a grain of sand. That moment when conception changes you, your life, your family’s life. The bible verse, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart” Jeremiah 1:5. What if that’s true? When you think about the millions of variables that come with conception, it’s hard not to believe there may be divine intervention somewhere along the way.

Motherhood in an Uncertain World

Now my oldest daughter is in college and my youngest is on her way. I find myself holding my breath, hoping that they aren’t victims of school shootings, climate catastrophe, the many whims that we are all helpless against. Things were never good, I got married after 9/11 in 2002. Y2K, 2012, the many wars of my generation, enough things that would have made any reasonable person second guess the idea of children.

Motherhood to me was a necessity. I can’t explain it, like a heart beat, it was automatic. I needed my daughters. I wanted my children. Despite all the bad news, recession, pandemics, etc, having my children was not something I ever felt was “wrong” or that I should have waited on. It was an urgency for me. I feel bad about the state of the world, I wish it was better in many ways. I feel that my daughters contribute to the betterment of this world. In whichever way they will do that, I don’t know. It’s with that hope that we moved forward in having children. Like trying to thread a needle or capture a grain of sand, the many odds against us brought to life the true miracle this endeavor would be.

The Reality of Thankless Parenting

One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn about motherhood is that it’s a thankless and ruthless task. It requires sacrifice and patience. The kind of patience that asks you to suppress a lot of yourself, to put others before yourself, everyday. It’s the hardest work. I’m the first to admit, I made a lot of mistakes. Some days I was better than others, and I found it’s all about trying. Having a commitment to trying. Having an understanding that gratitude is not something that comes from children. When you try and you are doing it right, they have no idea of what to be grateful for. Things just are, it’s what they are used to. Why would they be grateful? Why would they say thank you? But this is an area where a lot of parents get stuck. They have the wrong mindset.

Expecting gratitude is the path of disappointment. I told myself many times, “expect nothing. Do your job.” Aligning with what my job is has helped me a great deal when I had those moments of wishing my children could understand the sacrifices. It’s like asking a tree to drive your car. It can’t, it’s a tree. The same is true with children. Their brains aren’t fully formed until 26. They can’t understand, they don’t have your past memories or experiences. They are forming their own. Drive your own car. Let them grow. Move on from the “thank you” and allow yourself to practice patience and learning more about your own areas of emotional intelligence to cultivate.

Finding Fulfillment Despite the Costs and Sacrifices

So was it worth it? The cost of raising children for 18+years? Daycare, nannies, paying for college, dealing with all the drama and conflicts, the fights, the tears, heartache, fear. My husband would ask, after our first how or why I would put myself through it with our second. The difficult pregnancy and all the heart ache. The truth was, that after my daughter was born I kind of forgot the pain. The happiness of holding my daughters in my arms and the overwhelming joy I felt with taking care of both of them was and is so fulfilling. Nothing else compares to being a mother. Even if it’s hard.

It’s like when I would visit my family in Mexico and watch them eating spicy food. They would sweat, nose running, obviously suffering with the meals but nothing tasted as good. My children are like this. Yes, they are spicy and sometimes burn, yet I savor them. I enjoy them. I can’t tell you if it’s worth it financially. I can tell you that I’d give my last dollar to my kids. I’ll work longer and harder if it means they can have what they need. I don’t feel bad about that, I don’t feel like I’m missing out. I know many people who didn’t have children and are spending their time traveling and enjoying fine dining experiences around the world. Each person has their own experience and interpretation of what “living a full life” means to them and where and how they find fulfillment. For me, my children have been an easy way to get that sense of fulfillment. The sense of peace I feel when they are asleep at home, safe and secure. When my daughter away in college calls me when she doesn’t have to, but chooses to, dare I say wants to. When my youngest still seeks me out for a hug. I don’t have a dollar amount to quantify the sense of love I feel, only that I can’t live without it.

I have had moments of bitterness, wondering, what if. That’s normal. All of us do. It’s a natural part of being a human. I think many of us guilt ourselves for having these thoughts. I like to process it with my clients from a sense of “what’s next” what are they longing for? What do they need to express?

Looking Forward: No Perfect Time to Start

Looking forward, I am excited for the future. I hope my children have children and I imagine the day when I will hold a grandchild. My children coming to visit me, Sunday dinners and the continuation of our family. I think that’s the time to ask someone if it was worth it, because you have to get to the end of the journey to know. Although the future is uncertain and we are living in strange times, I hope those contemplating know that there is never a good time, there is never enough money, you can never be fully prepared. You take the leap.

Frequently Asked Questions About Having Children

Q: Is having children financially worth it? A: While the financial costs are significant (childcare, education, healthcare), many parents find the emotional fulfillment immeasurable. It’s a deeply personal calculation that goes beyond dollars.

Q: How do you handle parenting regrets or “what if” thoughts? A: These thoughts are completely normal. I encourage exploring what you’re longing for and what needs to be expressed, rather than judging yourself for having them.

Q: What’s the hardest part about motherhood? A: Learning that parenting is often thankless work that requires suppressing your own needs daily. Children can’t understand sacrifices until their brains fully develop around age 26.

 What’s your experience with this question? Whether you’re a parent, considering children, or chose a different path, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

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