Navigating the Mental Health Impact of the NJ Rt 80 Sinkhole: Coping Strategies for Commuters

by Yessenia Guglielmi | May 9, 2025 | article

As a mental health professional based in Morris County, NJ, I have witnessed firsthand how the prolonged traffic issues on Route 80 are affecting the well-being of commuters. Many of my patients and community members are experiencing heightened stress, anxiety, and frustration caused by the ongoing sinkhole crisis. https://dot.nj.gov/transportation/commuter/roads/i80/

One patient recently shared, “Doc, I’m facing death every day. The near misses and almost accidents I’ve had are crazy. People are losing their minds, driving crazy. I just grip the wheel and cry.”

With the ongoing sinkhole issue on Route 80, it’s not unusual to hear about people spending over an hour and a half, or more, navigating the chaotic traffic. Living in Rockaway, just one exit away from the traffic jam, I witness the congestion forming as early as 1:30 in the afternoon. The mental health effects of this ordeal cannot be understated. Despite Governor Phil Murphy’s call for remote work accommodations, many employers have not followed suit. Consequently, I now encounter numerous patients who are emotionally overwhelmed by the grueling commute and the length of time this has gone on.

Mental Health Impact:

Definition:
According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), aggressive driving is defined as any combination of traffic offenses that endanger other persons or property. Road rage, on the other hand, is an extreme form of aggressive driving, often characterized by violent or angry behavior behind the wheel.

A recent Pew Research Center survey indicates that nearly half of Americans perceive an increase in dangerous driving in their areas since the COVID-19 pandemic. This perception aligns with what I am hearing from many of my patients as they navigate the hazardous conditions on Route 80.

The prolonged commute is taking a serious toll on mental well-being. Some of the most common issues I hear about include:

• Increased anxiety and depression 
• Episodes of road rage and frustration 
• Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness 
• Emotional breakdowns, including crying and screaming in the car 
• Impulses to engage in reckless driving 
• Limited patience and heightened irritability.
  

The average commute time has increased by at least an hour and a half, adding significant stress to daily routines. Many arrive at work feeling drained, with little motivation to start the day. Adding to this stress, remote work options remain scarce, despite clear mental health challenges people are enduring. Many people fear pushing the option of remote work due to fears of losing their jobs in what seems to be a difficult economy we may be heading into. The effects, even if they are masked for hours a day, are real. People are struggling. It’s been many months of trying to cope and peoples’ reserves are at a breaking point.

Coping with Commuter Stress:

Finding ways to manage stress during a challenging commute can make a significant difference. Here are some practical strategies to help reduce anxiety and regain a sense of control on the road.

Engage Your Mind:

• Audio Books & Podcasts: Choose content that uplifts and distracts in a positive way, such as self-help, empowerment, comedy, or recovery-focused podcasts. Avoid those that trigger stress or anxiety. 
• The Playlist: Music is a powerful regulator of our nervous system. Curate a playlist that helps you unwind or matches the duration of your commute.
  

Mindful Practices:

• Breathing and Mindfulness: Practice deep breathing techniques, like box breathing (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds) to stay calm. 
• Gratitude Reflection: Focus on what you have rather than what you lack. This practice encourages a positive mindset and emotional resilience.
  Social Connection:
  • Reaching Out: Use your commute to call supportive friends or family who bring a sense of calm or humor. For those in recovery, reconnecting with a sponsor can also be helpful. 

  Optimizing Your Routine:

  • Break Your Schedule: Adjust your work hours to avoid peak traffic times if possible. Flexible scheduling, like a 12-8 or 11-7 shift, can significantly reduce stress. Offer yourself options.  
  • Use Your PTO: It’s essential to use accumulated time off strategically to recharge. I speak to people who sometimes have 2 years of sick time they haven’t used. Take a mental health day, schedule time off around your period or PMS week. Be strategic and use your time in ways that nourish you. 

  Enhance Your Environment:

  Make Your Space a Sanctuary: After a long commute, create a cozy home environment with fresh flowers, calming scents, or soft lighting to decompress.
  Seek Support:

  • Therapy: If you’re feeling overwhelmed, talking to a therapist can provide guidance and emotional relief.
  • Limit News: This again goes back to an already anxious mind, it does not need more things to worry about. I recommend no more than 15-30 minutes of news daily.
  • Self-Harm Awareness: Be mindful of coping mechanisms that may be harmful, like substance use, and seek help if needed. 

  Call to Action:
  If you’ve been affected by the Route 80 sinkhole commute, share your experience and coping strategies in the comments. Let’s support each other through this challenging time.

   

  

Miscarriage and Stillbirth: Coping with Unbelievable Loss on Mother’s Day

by Yessenia Guglielmi | May 2, 2025 | article

 A Counselor’s Experience

The only time I ever cried with a client in over twenty years as a counselor was with a young mother who had lost her second child just hours after the baby was born. Sharing that sacred space with her as she recounted the devastating loss was the only time in my career that I sobbed during a session. The profoundness of her grief gutted me.

At the time of this session, my two little girls were at home, waiting for me to return. The thought of losing one of my daughters hit me hard—especially knowing how much not just I, but my entire family, would have lost. Over the years, I’ve sat with many women who have endured the incredible grief of miscarriage or stillbirth.

How the Medical System Falls Short

What’s even sadder is that the medical model’s approach to supporting mothers in this situation hasn’t changed in all my years of practice. They’re often just sent home to follow up with their OB/GYN, perhaps given a depression screener, a few community resource phone numbers—and that’s about it. Many women leave the ER still bleeding and scared. They go through the miscarriage on their own.

Yes, there are logistical challenges. Emergency rooms are understaffed and overwhelmed. But OB/GYN departments could do more—just as many do for prenatal education and birth classes. The hospital system could shift its priorities to include post-loss support for bereaved mothers.

The Stillbirth Crisis in the U.S.

According to a 2023 article by ProPublica:

“The U.S. stillbirth crisis, in which more than 20,000 pregnancies every year are lost at 20 weeks or more and the expected baby is born dead. ProPublica’s reporting found that a number of factors contributed to the nation’s failure to bring down the stillbirth rate: medical professionals dismissing the concerns of their pregnant patients, a lack of research and data, and too few autopsies being performed. Additionally, alarming racial disparities in stillbirth rates have compounded the crisis.”
Read the full article: https://www.propublica.org/article/stillbirths-rate-nih-cdc-prevention-research

Given these statistics, mental health clinicians often become the primary support system—if grieving women are even referred to us at all. BIPOC women, LGBTQ+ families, or those with limited access to healthcare continue to face unique burdens in our country.

What Grieving Mothers Are Told (and Why It’s Harmful)

Most mothers suffer in silence. They hear:
– “Try again.”
– “You’ll be okay once you have another baby.”
– “It happens.”

These phrases, though well-intentioned, are deeply dismissive. Many grieving mothers also hear, implicitly or explicitly: “Get over it and stop talking about it.”

Grief Isn’t Linear: Beyond the Kübler-Ross Model

In therapy, some mothers want to move quickly through “the steps”—the traditional stages of grief. But what I’ve found is that grief after miscarriage or stillbirth is not linear and never truly ends. It can take years—or decades—for women to find meaning in their loss.

Some begin expressing their grief creatively. Others finally speak the name they gave their baby. Quiet rituals emerge: lighting a candle on the due date, planting a tree, or writing a letter. These acts of remembrance and validation are essential.

The Science of Why Mothers Never Forget

Even if they go on to have other children, the loss never leaves. Women remember. They carry their babies deep in their bodies—literally.

The placenta, a shared organ, contains both the mother’s and baby’s cells. These cells migrate throughout the mother’s body. Research published in Scientific American revealed that these fetal microchimerism cells can remain in the mother’s brain for decades. This is why a mother never forgets—because her body won’t let her.

So please, stop telling mothers to move on. They physically can’t. Instead, we must create space for them to grieve, to integrate, and to heal—without shame.

Therapy, Grief, and Growth

Therapists must acknowledge that grief after pregnancy loss may require long-term, non-linear work. We must validate that prolonged grief coping and post-traumatic growth are not signs of dysfunction, but signs of deep love and emotional resilience.

Resources for Grieving Mothers and Professionals

– Cincinnati Children’s – Moms’ Memory of Pregnancy: https://scienceblog.cincinnatichildrens.org/moms-ability-to-remember-prior-pregnancies-suggests-new-strategies-for-preventing-complications/
– March of Dimes – Coping with Grief After Baby Loss: https://www.marchofdimes.org/find-support/topics/miscarriage-loss-grief/dealing-grief-after-death-your-baby
– The Compassionate Friends – Support for the Newly Bereaved: https://www.compassionatefriends.org/find-support/to-the-newly-bereaved/
– International Stillbirth Alliance: https://www.stillbirthalliance.org/ 

*If you or someone you love has experienced pregnancy loss, know that you are not alone. There is a large community of support available to you and your loved one. Please check out the links above and consider reaching out to a therapist or support group. **